If you haven’t heard of the Curly Girl Method, then this post might be confusing.
If you’re a devotee of the Curly Girl Method (known as CG) then you also might be confused about why I won’t follow it.
To say I was a little reticent to post this would be an understatement…
When we start talking about curly hair, it can become quite an emotional topic.
I’d love to hear your thoughts and I’m sure there’ll be some comments and conversation below. And I ask you to please be respectful. Everyone’s hair is individual and remember after all, it’s just hair.
What is the “Curly Girl” Method?
The “Curly Girl” method is based on the book “Curly Girl” by Lorraine Massey.
If you haven’t read it, I highly recommend it. You can find it here on Amazon.
To summarise the Curly Girl routine can be difficult. But in essence, Lorraine wants you to avoid:
- sulphates
- silicones and
- any drying alcohols in your hair.
She doesn’t advocate the use of any heat, though diffusing on low heat can sometimes be okay.
She also recommends using lots of deep conditioning treatments. On that point we definitely agree!
Why I don’t follow the Curly Girl routine?
Click here if you can’t see the video above
I ramble a bit, because I’m really trying to not offend anyone who is obsessed with this routine.
The Curly Girl Method is too restrictive
This method is not for me because I find it too restrictive.
I like to use what works for me and my hair loves silicones.
I’m all for reading the labels and understanding what you are putting on your hair, but I get really frustrated by the Curly Girl community. Many have never read the book but insist that they’re using “natural” products. Just because it doesn’t contain silicone, doesn’t make it natural.
The more you understand your own hair, the easier it is to find the products that are going to work for you.
And shampoo is not a dirty word.
My hair is anything but natural
I absolutely adore my curly hair but I think hair should be fun.
My hair is obviously not pink naturally, and neither is it blonde naturally anymore. I love to colour my hair and sticking to the Curly Girl routine isn’t going to work for me.
The Curly Girl routine is too complicated
You can have a simple curl routine but there’s but there’s still always going to be multiple steps.
I can’t see how it’s not easier just to blow dry my hair straight, especially when I’m travelling. Some days I need my hair to be predictable and heat styling come into that.
There’s not enough variety in the Curly Girl Method
The rules of the Curly Girl community are so strict! I’ve seen people kicked out for mentioning shampoo.
I’m not going to get mad if you want to use a serum or shampoo your hair.
You don’t need to suddenly throw all of your hair products away because they don’t fit with this Curly Girl Method. Instead, find a way to create your own version.
A final word
I think the Curly Girl book is fantastic and a must read for curlies like me. It really helps you understand your curls.
I choose not to follow the Curly Girl method because I love my hair and I like to do all sorts of different things with it. It’s okay to find your own way and to create your own routine.
Just have fun with your hair!
Do you follow the Curly Girl Method?
Tell me about your hair routine in the comments below, I really love to hear what works for your hair.
I think cgm is actually very good for some people. My hair was terrible before I began to use this method. Literally I was brushing it for hours and hours and it was very dry and unhealthy and always falling out. Now I use a cleansing conditioner, which I eash my scalp. Then I put a conditioner, leave it on for a few minutes and then just brush it with Tangle Teazer. It is sooo easy to brush my hair with this method. Then I just have to wash it off, apply a little bit of moisturizer and gel, air dry it and I’m done. Also, every 4 weeks I wash my hair with a goats milk balsam.
Hi,
I have a very simple hair routine down, but I got a bad haircut, and my other issue is, that no matter how many times I plop, style, and put curl-defining cream/mousse, it just never defines itself. They NEVER look the way I want them to, and when I got the bad cut, my curls did not get bouncier at all-they never do after cuts.
Just came on this late, but I’m originally very CGM and now only half. Before I heard of CGM I had started washing with baking soda and rinsing with vinegar. Boy, what an immediate difference. Long story short, after 2 or 3 years of that my hair was dry as straw and I dumped the soda-vinegar and began a no-shampoo and silicone-free conditioner at each shower. Silicones are bad for my hair from experience. Granted, I’m older and my scalp is far less oily, but if you’re young or sweat often I can clearly imagine needing a shampoo sometimes. I’ve never gotten a true CGM where it is cut dry even from a “certified” stylist,, and I don’t think I will as it is just too far from standard hair practice. My current stylist told me to use a nice thick boar-bristle brush to “lay down the cuticle.” Absolutely NOT CGM. But, my curls are AMAZING now. They have structure and a softness in shape rather than a “just out of a towel” look. I’m still silicone-free and no-shampoo, but my styling is as far as CGM as it can get!
I just watched this and want to say, thank you! I have been trying this “curly girl method” for 9 months now and have struggled with it and hated it the whole time! I’ve desperately wanted to use shampoo and products that contain silicones as I’ve felt they best work with my hair, but so worried about being ridiculed for not doing it correctly. I remember when I first started on my journey I booked a hairdressing appointment with a curly specialist and I remember asking “Does this mean if I have a dry cut that if I ever choose to straighten it then it’ll look uneven” to which they replied, “yes, but anyone that is concerned about this and wants to still straighten their hair isn’t serious about their curls”, so which my next instinct was CANCEL! I was so annoyed and already straight off the bat, judged! Last thing I wanted considering growing up curls were not considered cool so I always hid them and now I’m embracing them, I’m being judged in another way! I recently purchased the curly book which I’m yet to finish reading. I like to think of myself as a simple girl that likes simplicity and hates rigid routine, so watching this has been a breath of fresh air! To know I can still love and rock my curls but on my terms is a nice feeling.
Hello,
I have a question. I’ve been doing the curly girl method for like 6/8 months. I feel like my hair is two different types. Underneath its beautiful curls and the top layer feels like straw and is wavy. The I have partial blonde highlights on top and I thought that might be making the difference but you say you color your hair. Any thoughts?
I’m interested in starting a variation of the curly girl method on my hair. After my pregnancy my hair as a very slight wave to it only in the back. I almost wonder if the rest of it has a wave too and I’m just hiding it by brushing it alot and not using any styling products besides a leave in detangler. I know I still need to shampoo as I live in Texas and in the summer my hair can get greasy looking. I already only wash my hair 2-3 times a week. I was wondering if you had tips/suggestions on products to bring out the texture of my hair.
Hi there, this is a really interesting post, thank you. Please can I ask, do you use all silicones or are there certain ones you avoid?
THANK YOU!! I just want to say thank you. I’m part of a couple of CGM groups on FB and honestly, it is sort of cult like.
The whole idea of CGM and its routines are great and they really do work for some people. I’ve been following it maybe semi-properly.
I use a cotton tee shirt, I only diffuse my hair, I never use heat tools anymore (even though I never really used to use them, but now I’m just too lazy to sit there straightening my hair for 2 hours though I love the look hahaa), I deep condition constantly, and I use a mix of leave in and a gel for it, and I do fhe scrunch thingy etc.
But! I just cannot get behind avoiding shampoo completely, nor is finger combing going to work, I neeeed my comb. I feel like I can often get product build up and if I don’t use a shampoo at least once a week and an anti-dandruff fortnightly (or even monthly, been trying to cut anti dandruff down), then my scalp becomes VERY itchy and my hair looks greasy and weighed down. Plus, it just doesn’t feel clean.
I like the idea of co-washing on days I don’t use shampoo, the use of more condition is nice, it detangles the hair and it hydrates it. But I just can’t bring myself to only use conditioner. I’m using gentle cleansing shampoo instead, experimenting with sulfate free etc ones that I find.
I guess what I’m trying to say is I love the fact that there are others who agree with me. The CGM method has its benefits, but it is also really strict and it takes FOREVER. I’m a full time student and worker and I dom’t have hours to clip my roots and diffuse my hair and do all that other stuff. Plus, I hate the way people are shamed for even mentioning the use of shampoo or heat tools. Who cares!? Everyone’s hair is different.
I have loved learning how to care for my curls, and I use some of the tips at times. However I’ve realized that with low porosity hair that I prefer not to dye (which does seem to help with the lack of volume some low porosity curly girls can have), the CG method can be more work than straightening. I go back and forth because I love embracing my natural curls which I’ve hated most of my life. But at the end of the day it’s usually just easier to straighten my hair. When I blow dry and straighten my hair I can go 5 days without washing it. It takes me about 10 minutes of drying and 10 minutes of straightening. And for the next 5 days I can wake up and do essentially nothing to it. When I want curls that look good I spend a good bit more time than that on the initial styling day and some amount of time daily, even if my refresh is very simple. I also find I’ll think about my hair more and just obsess over it more, which isn’t setting a good example for my daughters, regardless of the fact that I may be embracing my natural hair. If I didn’t live in an extremely humid climate I think straight would be hands down the best choice most of the time. But I do have several months of the year where humidity is a big factor.
Also a lot of people you see with major improvements in the health of their hair after starting CG are going from not caring for their hair well to CG. So of course they see improvement in the health of their hair. There are things you can do to care for the health of your hair even when straightening. As low porosity, I find my hair healthier when I straighten it simply because I have to wash it half as much or less.
In conclusion, with 4 young children, I’ve just decided I prefer the ease and simplicity of straightening my hair for now. And I love coming across people online who empower curlies to do what works best. Thank you!
Thank you!! The curly girl cult is a bit much, if I even ask a question about why a method doesn’t work I get my comments deleted. Lol
Praying hands and squish to condition has never worked for me because I just end up with a matted frizzy mess. If I go without shampoo I have an itchy greasy scalp. I like shampoo & I require a brush to style my curls. And, that doesn’t make me a bad person! Haha, girls take their curls way too serious. I’m just over here trying to look less like a fraggle.
I’m currently trying to “break up” with the CG method but I don’t know how to. I love the idea of using products that are good for my hair, but if Curlsbot doesn’t tell me it’s approved, I just assume its no good. I’d like to not rely on a ingredient calculator thing every time I go to the hair isle 🙁 I would also like to go back to a hair serum or oil with silicone in it but then idk what shampoos to use to wash out the silicone and idk what oils are best to use that won’t dry my hair out as well. CG has heavily complicated my hair routine and has me overthinking every thing I do. (FYI there really was nothing “wrong” with my hair before starting CG, just dry)
CG has also made me dislike my hair. I see the hair changes everyone has had and how people with hair straighter than mine now has beautiful and curly and bouncy hair. But it’s hair I’ll never get because I don’t diffuse and STC or use the bowl method or plop or pineapple. I get out of the shower, put in two products and air dry. If I want it nice and curly I use a wand. So it’s been quite disappointing to see what my hair isn’t becoming.
I think for these reasons the CG method is not for me. However, if anyone has any advice on how to still choose healthy hair products that would be awesome! Especially oil, conditioner & shampoo. My fav nonCG shampoo & conditioner that I was going to go back to apparently has very drying alcohols in it sooo idk what to do.
Hi Hair Twin! hehe We really do have exactly the same curl pattern! Anyway, I got on board with the CG method when it first came out in 2002 and have been off and on the bandwagon ever since. I must say that the method has changed since it first launched and has become more restrictive and (dare I say it) more commercialized. I have discovered that my hair needs shampoo, however most of the other procedures are pretty good (no brushing, use gel, air drying, no towel etc). You just pick and choose what works and then keep doing the old things that always worked for you too. I agree with the cult comments, I had a post rejected on one of the CG groups because I advocated coconut oil as a method of protecting hair when dyeing. Coconut oil!!! Apparently that’s very naughty.
Hello! EXCELLENT post!! I just thought I’d mention that there is now an “Uncensored Curly Girl Sisterhood” group on Facebook, for those of us who like the general idea of the method, but also like the odd straightening and shampoo and whatnot. I was in another, bigger Australian group for a while but it was SO cultlike, and in recent months seemed to be little more than product pushing for a new range of CG products. A few of the admins were quite passive-aggressive towards new members too, demanding that they “kindly” (anything but) read the multitude of files and complete learning units before posting ANYTHING. Just awful. I’d hate for Lorraine Massey to know how they were treating people under her name. But the uncensored group is fantastic, and welcomes men too!
sure does hard to follow through the method specially if there’s not much products available in my location (Iraq)
and with my profession as a nurse i am constantly exposed with everything so… not washing my hair after my shift
… is highly impossible.. I’m just starting my ” self discovery” on the things i should and not should do with my hair.
this post helped a lot….
I have tried the CG recommended products for my fine fine curly hair but every time I try my hair falls out by the handfuls. As soon as I switch back to “forbidden” products things go back to normal. I’ve stopped colouring my hair and embracing the grey but always use a diffuser to help with volume. Lesson learned…do what’s best for your hair and don’t stress about what others do. There are better things to spend your money on.
I have 2c hair and I tried CGM as a teenager as it worked well for a girl I knew. It didn’t work well for me; my hair just looked like a lank, greasy mess. Recently I asked for advice on a product to use for scrunch drying hair (I used to sometimes scruch my hair when I was younger but the product I used has been discontinued; wanted to maybe start doing it again sometimes for when I was short on time) and CGM devotees came out saying I should do this certain technique when washing my hair, routines using various combs/brushes, multiple products etc. It would be far easier and quicker to straighten it!
It’s great to read this. I am growing out a pixie and although love my hair curly, it only suits ME long and curly – not short and curly. I also like a fringe. After a month of trying a cg-routine i have to say that it’s fun to see a lovely curl every once in awhile (on first day hair for me) but it is very time consuming for me as I cannot tie my hair back on ‘bad’ days. Today I have straightened and it’s like a breath of fresh air – it took 25mins rather than 6hrs (natural drying as dissuer caused frizz) and i know what it will look like tomorrow and the day after and I JUST LOOK BETTER. I was starting to actually hide from people I felt so low! I will keep growing my hair and I will return to curly when it’s long enough to tie back. Also so nice not sleeping on rough curls that end up all flattened! What I will take with me is the products to keep my straightened hair as moisturised as poss as avoid silicones etc to see if this helps with the condition.
@hairromance : what sulfate shampoo are you using right now? I have a sulfate shampoo that I’ve been using monthly, but I just bought a leave in conditioner with a silicone in it. Can you refer me to a weekly sulfate shampoo? Any other thoughts will be welcome. Also, how often do you sulfate shampoo your hair? Or do you just do it as needed? Thanks!
I’m so glad I came across this blog. Thanks for sharing. I have naturally wavy hair, it was ringlets when I was a kid but the length and weight it my hair is pulley my curls down. I joined a curly girl Mathis group on Facebook and I felt like I’d joined a cult. I mentioned shampoo and I felt like I’d offered a vegan a steak. Everyone went crazy, all I wanted to know was what shampoo and conditioner is good for my curly hair and how to bring out my curls a little more without using styling tools. My hair is thick so there’s so way I can sit and diffuse my hair. It would take all night. I like to use shampoo so my hair feels clean so I’m going to use the condition, shampoo, leave in method. Then air drying. But I don’t know what do wi5h my hair to sleep. I usually do plaits but is there anything better I could do. I tried a bun but my hair was still soaking wet the next morning
I use a sulphate free shampoo because I’m allergic to sulphates, and I use oil and Umberto Giannini Curl Jelly to ‘gel cast’ my hair, although I didn’t realise that my method had a name! I’m intrigued in the Curly Girl method and would love to try it, but I’m not sure that my routine is all that different aside from using shampoo, and I don’t know if it would make a huge amount of difference to my hair, which curls and waves itself sporadically, whichever way it decides on the day! I wash it usually every 5 days, and put it up in a style to keep it going when the curls have gone lanky. Not sure whether to delve into the method as a trial or not!
I recently lost most of my hair due to severe illness and it’s growing back in…..very curly. I am used to only having a slight wave to my hair, not what I’m getting. As my hair got a bit longer from my drastic cut that I had to do when it was mostly fallen out, I realized that just running a comb through it was not going to work. I haven’t fully embraced the CG method yet partly because this is so new to me and partly because it really does seem confusing. But, I realized pretty quickly that I was going to have to embrace the curls and learn to deal with them.
At the moment, I am in my first week experiment of conditioner only wash. I found some blog post suggesting putting conditioner on dry hair (she said wetting hair first means the hair has already absorbed some moisture and prioritizing the conditioner moisture before the water). I also found a product from Shea Moisture called a curl enhancing smoothie which I started a few days prior to conditioner only. My curls have gone from “hey you have curly hair now” to “Wow! Look at your hair!” in only a few days. I’m not sure I’m “done” learning how to deal with curls, but I am loving the bits of CG method that I have picked up.
well, of course if you’re in a group that doesn’t advocated anything and you promote it, you’re going to be moderated… you are free to do whatever you want, but it’s like advocating for meat with vegans which is silly and provocative.
I have just started GCM and I feel that, to have an educated opinion, I will follow it strictly for, at least one year and will seen then.
Thanks so much for this. I recently discovered the CG method after many years of straightening my hair and denying my curl and immediately felt the epiphany. However, not everything works for me, so I was glad to see that others felt the same way. Of course I started with the Deva Curl line, but the fragrances are killing me. I’ll be mixing and matching from now on until I find the perfect combo. For ME. Don’t get me wrong – I am VERY grateful I discovered the bible since I had no real knowledge of my curly hair before, but we are all different with different types of curl, so it’s definitely advisable to find what works for the individual. Now I’m looking forward to experimenting with different products (and sure, some will still be Deva Curl). I will also stick with my CG disciple hairstylist. Just wanted to send a shout out of appreciation for saying it’s ok to follow your own curly path! : )
I embraced my curly hair many years ago and followed the curly girl method for awhile. I deviated on occasion, but mostly stuck with it. I find it pretty easy. Co-wash, gel and go. I can make it more complicated, but I can keep it that easy as well. But then I started blowing my hair out straight again for awhile. Why? Because it’s hair and I got bored and it was time for something new. Sometimes you get a color, sometimes you get bangs, sometimes you go straight. I’m back to curly again and I’m more or less following the CG method, or at least my version of it.
What are some of your favorite products that include silicone?
ooh good question! Mostly heat protectants, serums and some texture products too. I need to do a post on this! x
I have wavy, curly hair. It’s thick and course. I shampoo it (Reputed shampoo because all the expensive salon type brands are way too perfumey and cause me to have an allergic reaction), no conditioner in the summertime, towel dry just to squeeze the water out, I use a Jojoba Oils and Hemp seed oil to silken my hair (its a light product in texture, not a cream), and then use the diffuser very briefly. Let air dry the rest of the way.
We here the people, has great trust towards ORS, (www.orshaircare.com) The renowned Haircare brand as all thier products are paraben free, Sulphate free and high reviews .
My hair has medium volume, but each strand is very fine. When I use gel, it makes my hair look very stringy and when I break the cast by scrunching, it doesn’t work. It still looks stringy, so I gave up using gel. The only hair product that works for me is hairspray. When I use hairspray, it looks good for the first dsy and ok for the 2nd, but then I have 2 wash the hairspray out. So because I do this, I am not able to follow the curly girl method. I do use sulfate and silicone free products that are cruely-free. I think the curly girl method works best for women who have alot of volume and thicker strands of hair because they can put products in their hair without it looking so tiny + stringy.
I hadn’t considered just using hairspray, but I’m going to try that. Gels and other products often make my hair stringy as well, so I need something lightweight. Thanks for sharing the idea!
{Warning: Long, Rambly Comment}
I am a newly-epiphanied curly, who had spent my whole life thinking my hair was just a very chaotic, messy wave that was too big, too fluffy^, too everything, and that had to be struggled against daily (with paddle-brushes when I was younger, and then straightening irons when I was older; I know they’re awful, but I never did master the whole blowout thing) – largely due to being informed so by my family, and from the age my Mum was brushing for me. I never knew that those stubborn, close but flat sort of corrugations actually wanted to be ringlets until a few months ago, when a girlfriend recently dropped by unannounced on a washday whereupon I wasn’t expecting anyone and was letting it dry, picked up a skein from off my shoulder, peered at it, and then bemusedly informed me as much and asked why I always had them brushed out.
Obviously, the CG Method was the first thing my tentative Googlings for hair-care and styling tips brought me upon, because it’s so well publicised at this point. I got the book, read it, said to the part about no-‘poo, “Well, obviously I’m not going to do that, then; what else have you got?”
I feel pretty secure in dying on this hill, seeing as how science has proven that the scalp, like every other area of skin on our bodies, has pores – or in that specific case, hair follicles – which (while the stats say that the average US woman [no idea about us Aussies] does wash her hair way too often, being every 1 to 2 days (who has the energy? who has the *time*? how early do these women wake up, each morning before work?), do still need to be cleansed with some sort of Ph-balanced but distinctly soapy cleanser. And this because – especially when you factor in styling product buildup (and dear *Lord*, most of the CG community uses *so, many. products*), but not only limited to that element – no emollient alone, no matter how vigorously rubbed around, can remove all the gunk that otherwise starts to back up the holes, ultimately leading to chronic blockage causing the follicles to begin to die off, and thus resulting in *thinning* (what a nightmare).
Also, apple cider vinegar and baking soda may be safe for the scalp (as long as you have a healthy acid mantle already in place, which is iffy if you’ve – as statistically likely – previously been over-shampooing), but clinical testing indicates that they ultimately do strip the *hair* something awful. Sure, it makes it shiny – *lots* of things make your hair look better in the short term that aren’t actually good for in the long – lemon juice is another example in the acidic column, and over here in the alkaline corner, we have this contender; *my* hair always feels softer immediately after bleaching, doesn’t mean that’s good for it. A lot of this wasn’t known in the ’90s, though, and your average shampoo was quite a lot harsher then as well, so fair enough to the author…
But since I’m not in the habit of joining an evangelical fringe group at the cost of firm science, but am not a “baby out with the bathwater” sort of person, either, and I *did* note that the point about parabens, sulfates, drying alcohols and sealing silicones (for some people) was a good one, I just searched around until I could find a shampoo/conditioner set I liked the look of and that was well reviewed across multiple platforms, that *didn’t* cost the Earth. Then I went out to my local Chemist Warehouse and just picked them up, along with a new deep conditioner, which also fit the bill. I was so sad about my old one; Schwartzkopf Extra Care Hair Repair Ultimate Repair Anti-Damage Mask, which has served me faithfully for years, was extremely effective and cost under $8 for a big tub that, for a lady who only washed her very-and-ongoingly-bleached hair once every 10 days, lasted a really long time…but I balked at stopping using my Cureplex system – of course it’s not going to be CG approved, it’s some very complicated chemistry but it takes admirable care of me and *I need it* (worth noting that even Naturally Curly, a site that is easily one of the hubs of CG activity online, recommends Olaplex, which is in no way CG Approved[tm]).
The ‘poo and ‘dish were those cute, squat little blue bottles of OGX original recipe, you know the ones, which made up for the lack of silicones involved by a significant proportion of haircare’s sweetheart, Argan oil; and the deep ‘dish (…henh) was Garnier Fructis Hair Food in the Repairing: Papaya variety, which not only had none of the aforementioned naughties, but also was so intelligently designed that not only could it be used as a deep conditioner but apparently also a leave-in, in a reduced dosage . It was similarly good value to my former love, and smelt deceptively like something I should be eating, which the label prudently warns explicitly against doing (because sure, we may tell ourselves we’re adults, but we’re all still just smooth-skinned apes deep down, and when something inedible triggers all of our “edible” sensors, it’s anyone’s game).
…I was later to discover that neither of these new products are Curly Girl Approved[tm], though given that they hit all of those base requirements, precisely *why* was a mystery to me, and I decided that it wasn’t my problem.
So then I decided to tentatively poke my head into the massive online fandom that has grown up around the CG Method – or rather, as it quickly became clear, the distortion of it that takes the book’s instruction to “Keep it simple,” and basically that says all you need is a good gel, deep conditioner, and everyday-type conditioner for co-washing, to everyone having to try every possible cocktail of every possible, mostly expensive, *styling* product that fits the no ‘fates, ‘no ‘bens, no ‘cones, no drying ‘hols bill, otherwise how will you know your curls are truly the best they can be?
This seemed pretty extreme to me, and most of the recommended products care products, as well as those styling ones, were pretty damn dear (when I later discovered that the ones I had chosen, based on the elementary rules, were not approved, and after a bit of scrutiny I couldn’t discern why, I cynically just quipped to myself that it was most likely because they were affordable). Plenty of the Youtube videos from CG gurus shilled for a product regime that it seemed like probably even they couldn’t even afford *all* of, if they weren’t being sponsored by the companies in question.
And I laughed outright when I came across “plopping”; not because the name is hilariously scatological (it is), and not because it looks hilarious (it does), but because as a technique, it is held in such reverence by that specific community and spoken of as though it is such a revolutionary concept into the mysteries of which any newcomer must be formally initiated…when all it is is good ol’ towel-turbaning from a slightly sharper angle, and with a bit more poking of the wet hair with the hands to try to manipulate the soggy pile of skin-noodles a little closer to the top of the head before the towel being tied, perhaps a little tighter than normal to support that packing-in. Switching to a tee-shirt was heavily encouraged, but all of mine were too small, so I just continued to use my existing turban-type hair-wrap that’s made out of chamois. And I have to admit, I don’t really see what’d be so wrong with using an already-owned microfibre toweling one, as long as you didn’t rub it around.
And so much of the culture was so into nurturing their hair’s evolution ever onward towards its ultimate zenith –
(Nobody:
No-one:
Absolutely no-one at all:
Your hair: “You fool, this isn’t even my final form!”)
– that it borders on religious; especially in the Youtube tutorials, one frequently sees claims like, “My washday routine; only two hours every three days!”
No longer did wash and go mean, literally wash and go, but rather I was to discover that here (where G_d does not pay attention) it stood for, “wash and then spend an indefinite period of time applying six or seven-” (for some reason, your average CGer doesn’t count their LOC as steps in their post-rinse styling regime, but I do) “-layers of products to the hair, which must be smoothed in but without disrupting the wave/curl clumps that are forming, thoroughly scrunched so that the pattern is encouraged but never overly-manipulated so that it causes frizz to occur, and conditioned and sealed to support the pattern as it dries…but never overloaded so that it’s weighed down”.
Combined with the necessity of refreshing the pattern each day, because only the washday-tight look is acceptable and curls naturally loosening and evolving over the time between washes is to be defied at all costs, and throughout the day whenever needed – but not touching the hair too much or too often for fear of incurring the dreaded frizz – the time and effort consumption seemed incredible. And always, one must be chasing that *perfect* curl – look at these photos of these women’s curl evolution over the years, and imagine how much better yours can become!
Meanwhile, Youtubers posted videos of themselves plopping at an angle so deep that it looked like I was watching WWE, and chatted cheerily about hair maintenance that seemed to have taken over their lives to the point of literally consuming roughly the amount of time one might devote to one’s absolute passion-hobby, or a second, part-time job.
It was all so aspirational and escalatory and demanding, that I was briefly overwhelmed. I had come looking for new knowledge and suggestions to experiment with on a journey to make peace with my natural hair texture, to spend *less* time and energy fiddling and fighting with it, and if anything the Curly Girl method as the subCULT…ure had taken and expanded it was the exact opposite of that; it was a sh!t-tonne *more* work than I was currently doing.
I couldn’t be having with it.
Of course, once I got my level of intimidation under control, I was able to glean some useful tips from all the noise; scrunching with my plopping (-immature giggle-) towel, rather than my bare hands, *did* make a difference both to how quickly it dried and to how much I was able to play with and encourage the curl without causing it to separate and frizz.
Liquid -> Oil -> Cream did have more immediately quantifiable effect on the softness and shine of my dried hair than using those products in any other order.
Using a thermal cap *did* make my mask treatments more effective.
A quick spritz or sprinkle of water (or as I have found I like, distilled water with solubulised lavender and rosemary essential oils, and just a drop of glycerine for volume) the next day *did* reactivate my products, and allow me to quickly poke my hair back into better definition – though always, the spectre of frizz loomed large.
And rubbing product between my hands first to really mix it into itself (despite the CG-sphere’s love of the word, most products are *already* emulsified, in the container; if they weren’t, then they’d separate into layers, and you’d have to shake the container before every use) before application really *does* help it coat and/or penetrate my hair more effectively.
But any gel that was hard enough to lock the 2C ringlets on my fine, high density, high porosity, long-arsed hair was inevitably too heavy to *support* it unless I then pulled the clump up into a pincurl while it dried, and no matter which way I mixed it, anything lighter than gel simply didn’t give me the hold I need. The weight of custards and creams left me with beautifully defined waves, but at the expense of the ringlets that they had wanted to be, and the lack of guts inherent in mousses all but leave it straight.
And as much as my damaged hair cried out for moisture, feeding its high porosity thirst as recommended left it also weighed down. I’m still working out what the best products and techniques are for me, there – I’ve a sneaking suspicion that the answer may ultimately prove to be “use LOC to seal it against frizz, and then just let it dry naturally, without interference from hairbrushes or tension”. If that’s the case, I’m going to be so mad; I’ve bought so many products.
I decided to keep one foot in the Curly Girl community, but also to carry Lot’s wife around on my shoulder so I wouldn’t have to keep going back for refills, and as I started at the beginning – with going my own way over the cleansing and conditioning system – so I have continued. It’s how I generally approach any new fad that looks to have become a hotbed for tribalism and gatekeeping; I’ve never been much of a joiner, so I go in with my eyes wide open, one foot outside, and I sift the wheat from the chaff of information I’m presented with.
Very few systems are suitable for everyone, when followed religiously. A buffet approach is generally the only one that serves the individual best.
So, I’m not personally Curly Girl conforming. I keep up with the community, on certain sites and certain boards, and stay abreast of any new info that sounds to me like it might legitimately be worth an experiment, but I still bleach my signature colour, I still use Cureplex to maintain my hair’s health in spite of those effects, and I still use shampoo – and more than low ‘poo’s “apply small, massage big” rules recommend, since it’s also a fact that a little more product is actually a lot better for your wet, vulnerable hair than vigorous friction is.
It’s like anything else, really; you just have to use discernment and common sense. My advice to any other newly-minted curly about to take the plunge would be this; don’t get caught up in the hegemonic worship of obsessive perfectionism at the cost of life-balance, but look around for if there’s any valuables worth taking – just don’t *tell* the faithful you’re there to raid the temple, and you won’t have to deal with being called a heretic. 🙂
I really enjoyed this article and video. Thanks for creating them, it’s very cool to see how many non-CG-approved people are feeling emboldened to come out of the woodwork and admit their transgressions against the “rules” of having curly hair.
You have tremendous power, because of your reach, to validate people with whom you share this little resistance, to the massive presence of the trend, in common.
Thanks for using your influence for good works. <3 <3 <3
Apologies for any typos, I am very tired and this got so long that now attempting to proofread it has sent me literally cross-eyed (in fact, if anyone's read this whole thing, wow, congrats for your patience), so I think it's time for bed. -lol-
^I've often been heard to joke that after my hair first dries, for the first day or so I look like a Chinchilla Persian that licked a light socket.
I enjoyed reading this comment – you’re very witty and insightful! I wholeheartedly agree, especially with your conclusion: “look around for if there’s any valuables worth taking.”
Recently I’ve been researching the curly girl method and gotten some ideas. For example I’m applying any styling products while my hair is still soaking wet, and I’m finally giving up my stubborn (and awful) habit of rubbing it with a towel. I’ve also eliminated silicones and sulfates, but I’m not happy with the results so far and I need to find a lightweight styling product that works for me without making it stringy. I’m willing to experiment a little but I’m not going to break the bank, so if I can’t seen to find a good solution then it’s back to silicones, no hard feelings. Shhh!
I’m just starting out with CG, but I hate the strict words to!
I do use shampoo (CG friendly ofc) and I would not give that up anytime soon. I just don’t know why I should.
Plus I totaly agree, everyone has there own type of hair, so just use what you like.
I am starting strict > no sulfates and stuff, but hey.
let people be people…
I’m from the Philippines and lots of curlies here, too!
Totally relate! I love coloring my hair and use heat stylers once in a while! But I appreciate the learnings on which products to avoid to achieve a healthier hair!
I am 39 years old, caucasian with curl patterns ranging from 2B-3A. I have a LOT of fine curly hair. For years, I blow dried and flat ironed, on top of frequent blonde highlights on my dark brown hair, trying to attaint this societal ideal of hair beauty (sigh). Needless to say, I was damaged beyond belief at this time last year, with dermatitis on my scalp as a result of using very harsh shampoos and major hair breakage from daily straightening. I looked horrible in pictures with my flat hair, as it just isn’t how I was “meant” to look.
I now use a modifeid CG routine; I got carried away after reading Lorriane Massey’s book, which is really a fun read, but I went overboard buying natural products that are just overall, way too heavy my fine curls. I do like “As I Am” cowash, but not for daily or weekly use, as it’s very heavy and builds up quickly.
As someone who needs to wash daily, if not every other day, my curls really take to the Garnier Curl Nourish line of products (gentle and do not build up!) as well as OGX’s Quenching Coconut Curls line, which smells amazing and has this Curling Milk that is light and defines finer curls while boosting their volume.
As long as you don’t brush hard, never brush dry, towel dry gently and find products that work for YOU, you will rock any curly style, and rock it well.
Truthfully I’m not doing everything neither.
I try as much as possible to no use any products with sulphates
silicones and any drying alcohols in my hair.
I haven’t used heat in a year but that’s entirely because I don’t like to flat iron my hair. I have never diffused it either before a year ago I never even flat ironed it. After that experience I don’t think I ever will since I saw some heat damage ( not a lot , just on the ends ) which I cut off immediately anyway.
I shampoo my hair just normally. Sometimes I use a cowash since the one I use I love a lot and has a lot of “slip”
I don’t do all the scrunching and upside down things. I personally hate that a lot. I have 3C/3B/4A hair a mixture of all three ( weird I know_ I got more 3C and 4A and in the name some 3B. I use a deep conditioning every week. And my products. I don’t use any oil or hair serums since I love in The Caribbean and feel it just cooks my scalp and hair. I detangle with a tangle teezer wet brush instead of using my hands/fingers, this I hate too. Since it’s not helping me at all with the knots abyway.
So there that’s my story :DD
I have curly hair but heat styling and children has taken much of my curl out but the frizz has remained. Even when I straighten my hair, the frizz is there. I was looking into CG because I want to restore the curl and it seems this has worked for many. I’m open to ANY other method. I just want my pretty curls back!
Jessica, I understand totally! As a mom of three myself, I resorted to daily harmful straightening in order to feel “pretty”. I think that the best thing to do is find a shampoo or cowash and a conditioner that works for you, i.e., that you like the fragrance of, the price point is right for you, sulphate-free to start replenishing lost moisture, etc., and very gently comb and towel-dry (I use an old polyester shirt to dry my hair; it works wonders!) then apply a mousse or gel you like. Air dry and voila. Your hair will most likely look differnet and better than it has in a long time.
Just dont’ drive yourself insane, like I did, with over-researching products and spending more than you have to. Have fun!
So I do a modified CG method. I get better results when I diffuse than when I air dry (although I’m heading into the no blow dry season of my volunteer job so I’m experimenting with other methods.) My hair has done amazing things when I’ve added cowashing, protien rich deep conditioners, gels, and other things I had not been doing before. About every 14-18 days I use a less friendly CG shampoo (no sulfate, parabens but has silicones) as part of my routine and honestly those are my best hair days.
Also I straighten (gasp) my hair every 6-10 weeks when I get my hair cut. Because my hair dresser 1.) has the patience of Job. 2.) does a phenomenal job at it 3.) my curls bounce back so much better right after a cut when they’ve been straightened for 3-4 days.
All in all I get the basic concepts of the CG method but I also get that my hair is my hair and I’m always going to do what works for me. Because if I love how my hair looks I’m more confident and happier…I don’t care how I got there.
I have followed the CG method since august. Now I’m done. My hair is more frizzy than ever and feels like hay. So I’m going back to my old routines. My curls were more defined and bouncy before I started to follow the method, when I used productscontaining silicones.
Oh I’m glad to read this post! I have wavy hair and want to be kinder to my hair and be able to wear it wavy sometimes, but I don’t want to never straighten it again! I have not finished The Curly Girl Method, but from what I’ve read it does feel really restrictive and I don’t know if I want to take that plunge. I found a great co wash I love and have ordered a diffuser but it’s just nice to hear that heat isn’t the worst thing in the world! I am loving your site and tutorials!
Cheers! ?
I was doing the CGM for months. I thought everything was going well. People said it looked great. I realized how many people in my life lied to me when I saw my pictures from a cruise on formal night. OMG my hair looked awful. I looked like a wet dog. Now, when I left the room what I saw in the mirror was nice, but what I saw in the pictures was just bad. Our 1st cruise, my 1st time dressed up nice in years, and my parents 40th anniversary and I looked like a wet dog. I cried after seeing them. I almost immediately went back to straightening my hair. I regretted not straightening my hair that day, but it was “forbidden” and I was feeling like a failure to even think it. When I mentioned it in a CG group to do just for that day, oh the claws came out. I really wish I had listened to my gut and not the group. Now, I swap between curly and straight. When I do straighten I use SILICONE shampoo and conditioner. I use the heat to straighten it on day 1, and then just brush it the other 2 days (or pull it up).
I grew up with long curly hair, but having cut it as an adult to shoulder length or shorter I am finding I’m not loving my curls the way I used to. I did learn through the experience of that 6 months that I need to stop binding myself in and do what I want to do for my hair. I do use some of the products introduced to me (like the Cantu Curl Cream which my hair loves), but I also use silicone shampoos and conditioner because it smells amazing and when I straighten it reduces the damage. I just need to get back to loving me.
I was on your side until you basically said that your hair needs to be straightened to look “nice”. Fine if you want to straighten it but the idea that hair can only look nice enough for a special occasion if it is straight really really bothers me. It’s things like this that make girls who don’t WANT to straighten do it.
I don’t follow curly girl either and yes, it also made me look like a wet dog. But I DON’T want to straighten my hair Ever. Period. It’s just something I DON’T WANT. It honestly feels like you get fanatic people on the curly girl side and curly haired people who encourage straightening. Granted my hair is more curly/wavy so I can do cute vintage styles without heat (though I’m sure curly girl wouldn’t allow most of it either). That’s not true for everyone but there are ways to arrange even the most kinky curls beautifully without a blow dryer or flat iron. If your hair only looks good straight, you just don’t know how and/or your hair is too heat damaged to look good. Fine if you want it straight sometimes (not every day) but what bugs me is when it sounds like that’s the only thing beautiful enough for certain occasions.
I don’t really folly the curly girl method either, as my hair likes to be brushed.
I use a wet/dry brush to get all the hair that has fallen out during the course of the week, and my brush has boar bristles so it smooths out my hair and forms my curls beautifully.
I also don’t rake the gel I use (I don’t use deva products as I find them very drying) into my hair, I scrunch it in.
I fund that the curly girl method has good foundation, but everyone should do what suits their hair best!!
I’m 47 and I have 2c-3a hair. I’m white and I’ve been chastised for appropriating ethnic hair product in my quest for caring for my curls. I will say this, getting a dry curl cut and not using products without silicone and parabins has been very helpful. I have to wash my hair every 2-3 days or i am a frizzy, dry and flat mess. The CGM is very restrictive and time consuming for me. I just do what I think works for me. I honestly don’t have time for the haters or shamers. And, I love PRELL! There, I said it and it feels good! Sometimes I just need a good clarifying shampoo to make me feel fresh and clean. Deep conditioners make my hair very oily and I don’t have time for oily hair. Also, I can’t figure out the LOC or LOCG or when to use it based on the seasons. I thrive on simplicity.
I’m grateful that I have many choices when it comes to product sampling and that I do not have to ascribe to one product or price point, because let’s be honest, hair products are a small fortune. However, I would like to deep condition once a month and would be open to any and all suggestions of quality product and procedure. So, any help would be greatly appreciated.